How My Word of the Year Took Me on a Journey I Didn't See Coming

My word of the year for 2024 was bloom. I was running two businesses, but dreaming into starting a consulting practice that would allow me to follow my passion - combining marketing and energy work to help women in business grow both personally and professionally. So I set an intention for a year of blooming into this truer, more aligned version of myself

But within literal days of turning that first calendar page, I began to question my word of the year. 

I had been ignoring the warning signs for years. As new opportunities presented themselves, I eagerly added them to my plate. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that something would eventually have to give, but I was gauging my ability to “keep going” and “keep adding” by how well I was keeping all of the balls in the air, and the fact that I wasn’t feeling any stress. I checked in with myself from time to time - at times even pondering why I wasn’t feeling the stress when my plate was so full. 

Despite the fact that I was running two businesses, had three young kids at home (one of them just two at the time), a husband who travels - I kept adding and adding, trying to fill a void or find purpose or feel a spark of passion growing inside of me. I was lucky - with thriving businesses, a happy marriage, and an incredible village of support around me… so why wasn’t I feeling the joy that my life seemed it should elicit? 

It turns out, I was so focused on filling the void that I overlooked the fact that I was literally feeling nothing… for years. 

And as I started to understand this truth, and when I finally started to feel all of the things, my body had no clue how to handle it. My nervous system did what nervous systems are supposed to do when they feel threatened and it jumped into overdrive trying to protect me. And that protection came in the form of pain. Really intense, migrating, all-consuming pain that showed no mercy on whatever body part or system it was inhabiting at the time. 

I’m no stranger to chronic pain. In fact, my first experience with chronic pain began when I was ten and experienced a sports-related back injury, quickly followed by a freak accident involving a head injury. I’ve battled back pain and headaches for most of my life - at times, completely consumed by doctors appointments and therapies to resolve the pain and “fix the problem.” I’ve experienced more scans and needles, surgery consults and therapies than I care to rehash. I spent a decade on painkillers. I was told at one point in early adulthood that I may never be able to carry a child myself. And while the pain has always ebbed and flowed, this pain was different. 

So while the year began with visions of following my passion and growing a new business that would allow me to live into the truest, most authentic version of me, my attention quickly shifted to alleviating the pain. Maybe my word of the year should actually be healing? 

And as I embarked on a year of healing, from physical pain interventions and exploring the gut microbiome, to behavioral therapy and eventually mind-body medicine, I eventually began to really listen to my intuition… ultimately identifying that excavating my inner world was really the key to pain relief and true healing. I still have a long way to travel, and managing chronic pain is really a lifelong journey. Even when the pain is in remission, there’s a delicate balance of physical and mental/emotional work that goes into maintaining a life without symptoms. But perhaps the most surprising part of this journey has been uncovering the path that led to finding myself… that all of the excavating and journaling and shadow work and meditation actually led me to developing a deeper understanding of and connection with myself. As it turns out, I was actually blooming all along. 

I haven’t finalized my word for 2025 yet. But that’s what’s so beautiful about selecting a word of the year. There are no rules. Pick now, pick in February. Change the word. Scratch the idea altogether. Introspection and self discovery and growth and living fully are the point. And while I continue to ponder, I can’t help but get excited to see what magic 2025 has in store for us.